james_nicoll ([info]james_nicoll) wrote,
@ 2009-04-17 12:39:00
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Inspired by just the post you think (unless it isn't).
Poll #1385272
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 159

Which secretive cabal do you feel is preventing you from attaining your justly earned publication and subsequent wealth and fame?

View Answers

Jealous agents who want to be authors themselves
23 (14.5%)

Editors, both the ones who are too hidebound to appreciate your genius and the ones who are jealous of your skills
29 (18.2%)

Critics and reviewers
16 (10.1%)

Liberal Arts professors
26 (16.4%)

Best selling authors who fear competition
23 (14.5%)

Those people. You know the ones I mean
84 (52.8%)

Giant bookstores whose business plans depend on keeping the deserving few off their shelves
24 (15.1%)

The reverse vampires
66 (41.5%)

A group so terrible they may not be named here (in comments is OK because they never click on comments)
66 (41.5%)


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(87 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]james_nicoll
2009-04-17 04:42 pm UTC (link)
In particular, I suspect one major impediment to glory is never writing anything in the way of fiction and also never submitting it anywhere.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

[info]kate_nepveu
2009-04-17 04:45 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, that.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]james_nicoll, 2009-04-17 04:47 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ms_danson, 2009-04-17 04:49 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]kate_nepveu, 2009-04-17 04:56 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]james_nicoll, 2009-04-17 04:58 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]argonel, 2009-04-17 05:12 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]secritcrush, 2009-04-17 05:18 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]martinl_00, 2009-04-17 05:24 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]metahacker, 2009-04-17 06:10 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jamiam, 2009-04-17 10:41 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]morbid_curious, 2009-04-17 04:47 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]roseembolism, 2009-04-17 04:50 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ailsaek, 2009-04-17 06:10 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]barberio, 2009-04-17 04:53 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]marydell, 2009-04-17 05:09 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ross_teneyck, 2009-04-17 05:15 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jamoche, 2009-04-17 07:11 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]bluetyson, 2009-04-17 05:52 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]icecreamempress, 2009-04-18 02:05 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]commodorified, 2009-04-17 07:30 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]womzilla, 2009-04-19 06:20 am UTC (Expand)

[info]directordale
2009-04-17 04:44 pm UTC (link)

Mainly I don't write fiction but if I did, I imagine it would not be seen by the publishing industry as having any sort of appeal to a market.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]beamjockey
2009-04-17 06:01 pm UTC (link)
This seems to me a fresh and novel excuse. Thank you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]ms_danson
2009-04-17 04:45 pm UTC (link)
Cows. I blame the cows. Especially the alien cows. Yep.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]ailsaek
2009-04-17 06:11 pm UTC (link)
Darn, I like that even better than bunnies.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]krin_o_o_, 2009-04-17 09:23 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]jhetley
2009-04-17 04:48 pm UTC (link)
It's the readers what done it. The ones who don't buy my books.

(Reply to this)


[info]glaurung_quena
2009-04-17 04:48 pm UTC (link)
Anya was right: the bunnies did it.

(Reply to this)


[info]wiredferret
2009-04-17 04:49 pm UTC (link)
All of my speculative fiction centers on how software will behave. And I get published and paid for it.

Sadly, we call this tech writing.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

[info]daedala
2009-04-17 05:02 pm UTC (link)
This is awesome.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
(no subject) - [info]marydell, 2009-04-17 05:10 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]beckyh2112, 2009-04-17 07:22 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]wiredferret, 2009-04-17 08:43 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]beckyh2112, 2009-04-17 08:49 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]pyrzqxgl, 2009-04-18 02:25 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]elbales, 2009-04-21 12:17 am UTC (Expand)

[info]n6tqs
2009-04-17 04:49 pm UTC (link)
I blame the teachers.

(Reply to this)


[info]barberio
2009-04-17 04:52 pm UTC (link)
Rupert Murdoch. It's a personal vendetta. Sure.

(Reply to this)


[info]agent_mimi
2009-04-17 04:52 pm UTC (link)
Ooh, I've missed something. Someone wanna give me a hint? I desperately need things to read to keep myself awake a few more hours.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]argonel
2009-04-17 05:15 pm UTC (link)
I think the term to search for is either "queryfail" or "agentfail". That should get you to the latest iteration of this 'debate'.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
(no subject) - [info]agent_mimi, 2009-04-17 05:30 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]cofax7, 2009-04-17 06:18 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]threegoldfish, 2009-04-17 06:26 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]agent_mimi, 2009-04-17 06:41 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]anton_p_nym, 2009-04-17 07:13 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]machineplay, 2009-04-17 08:13 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]icecreamempress, 2009-04-18 02:06 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]le_trombone, 2009-04-18 06:43 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]burger_eater, 2009-04-17 10:19 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]dd_b
2009-04-17 05:04 pm UTC (link)
Editors, definitely; but not so much the groups you list, as the ones who have *standards* and know something about what books will be bought if put out there on the shelves. They're evil, I tell you; EVIL!

Somebody once suggested to me that I'm not really holding up my end of the feud, either, and that I'm supposed to write and submit stories or something. I never really got what they were on about, so I've mostly ignored it.

(I don't actually want much to be an author.)

(Reply to this)


[info]nihilistic_kid
2009-04-17 05:04 pm UTC (link)
Readers, duh!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]james_nicoll
2009-04-17 06:27 pm UTC (link)
There's the Norman Spinrad method of writing a touching tribute to your readers (as seen in his He Walked Among Us) but I believe it has had mixed results.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]machineplay
2009-04-17 05:10 pm UTC (link)
I note that you left out my answer: ME AND MY INNER CRITIC.

(Reply to this)


[info]emt_hawk
2009-04-17 05:10 pm UTC (link)
my problem is that all of my good ideas wind up in game-owned universes

--H

(Reply to this)

Oh, and you forgot my favorite excuse
[info]emt_hawk
2009-04-17 05:11 pm UTC (link)
plate tectonics.

--H

(Reply to this)


[info]daev
2009-04-17 05:25 pm UTC (link)
My brain cells. They hate me.

(Reply to this)


[info]barberio
2009-04-17 05:57 pm UTC (link)
World of Warcraft.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]krin_o_o_
2009-04-17 09:20 pm UTC (link)
Everquest.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]marith
2009-04-17 05:58 pm UTC (link)
Brain gnomes. They steal my words and replace them with large stonelike writer's blocks, which they have mortared together into a wall between me and literary fame.

(I suspect that behind the wall the gnomes have built a Stonehenge with the remaining blocks and dance around it making fun of me. Will report back when I finish digging a hole to spy on them.)

(No, I don't have time to write today. Hand me another spoon, would you?)

(Reply to this)


[info]cara_chapel
2009-04-17 06:11 pm UTC (link)
The most responsible person preventing me from all that? Is me. ;-)

(Reply to this)


[info]azurelunatic
2009-04-17 06:17 pm UTC (link)
The committee in my head distracting me when I'm meant to be writing.

(Reply to this)


[info]raycun
2009-04-17 06:42 pm UTC (link)
they are all against me

(Reply to this)


[info]julesjones
2009-04-17 06:46 pm UTC (link)
Old straight male fuddy-duddie publishers who refuse to recognise the wonder that is gay porn for girls.

Alternatively, OSMF-FP who recognise that there is a market for gay porn for girls, but who insist that the giant bookstores whose business plans depend on keeping the deserving few off their shelves will never stock it, and the publisher will lose money on it.

Especially the giant bookstores named after giant South American rivers.

(As you might expect, I've actually done all of that bitching for real, if not *entirely* seriously, but my solution was to go out and find a suitable small press publisher instead.)

(Reply to this)


[info]martianmooncrab
2009-04-17 07:20 pm UTC (link)
The majority of sucessful writers have cats (look at Hemingways polydactyls!) so, if you have good predator cats who eliminate the evil bunnies/clowns/elephants/brownies/trolls and whatever sneak into your home during the time you are resting, your measure of being published increases. But the flip side is that you are a slave to the Evil Feline Empire that will eventually conquer the Earth.

(Reply to this)


[info]seawasp
2009-04-17 07:21 pm UTC (link)
Well, actually, I'm BEING published, so I am clearly part of the Cabal. Though The Reading Public has failed in their clear duty to make me fabulously wealthy.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]dbdatvic
2009-04-20 03:58 am UTC (link)
Well, if you'd just write a fabulous number of books, I'd do MY part.

--Dave

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]snippy
2009-04-17 07:42 pm UTC (link)
The complete lack of desire to actually, you know, BE A WRITER. Or to write a story of any kind.

(Reply to this)


[info]wdstarr
2009-04-17 07:42 pm UTC (link)
I just had to vote for the reverse vampires even though I don't know wtf they are or what post you're talking about or anything. I mean, reverse vampires!

(Reply to this) (Thread)
The Secret Origin of the Reverse Vampires
[info]james_nicoll
2009-04-17 08:01 pm UTC (link)
Simpsons: "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"

From his treehouse, through a telescope, Bart observes men chugging the
tonic and running indoors to their female partners.

    Bart: OK, it's not _painfully_ clear the adults are _definitely_
          paving the way for an invasion by the saucer people.

Milhouse: You fool!  Can't you see it's a massive government conspiracy?
          Or have they gotten to you too?

           [he and Bart start wrestling]

    Lisa: Hey!  Hey, hey, stop it!  Stop it!  Why are you guys jumping
          to such ridiculous conclusions?  Haven't you ever heard of
          Occam's Razor?  "The simplest explanation is probably the
          correct one."

    Bart: [condescending] So what's the simplest explanation?

    Lisa: I don't know.  Maybe they're all reverse vampires and they
          have to get home before dark.

Everyone: Aah!  Reverse vampires!  Reverse vampires!

           [Lisa sighs]



Later on in the same episode

    Bart: So finally, we're all in agreement about what's going on with
          the adults.  Milhouse?

Milhouse: [steps up to blackboard] Ahem.  OK, here's what we've got: the
          Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people --

    Bart: Thank you.

Milhouse: -- under the supervision of the reverse vampires --

    Lisa: [sighs]

Milhouse: -- are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish
          plot to eliminate the meal of dinner.  [sotto voce] We're
          through the looking glass, here, people...

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)
Re: The Secret Origin of the Reverse Vampires - [info]wdstarr, 2009-04-18 11:01 pm UTC (Expand)

(87 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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